Moving Out

I've lived with family members for my entire 22 years of life. On Friday, that streak will be broken: I'm moving into an apartment with a good buddy of mine. I've never had to pay rent, utilities, or other common household expenses. Part of me is a bit frightened of having to really grow up and part of me is extremely happy that I am finally moving out.

I've never had to stick to a budget (though I know how), and I've never had to worry about my income. I know this sounds pathetic, but it's like I now actually have to be responsible with my money (Haha). I've never really had to. I need some new clothes? Done. I want to make an expensive meal? Done. I want to buy some new books? Done. Goodbye to that luxury! Hopefully I'll easily adapt a budget-conscious mind.

What I'm really frightened about is how my family is going to do without me. I currently live with my grandparents (who are practically always complaining to each other about the other one, my grandfather's illegitimate child, and their living situation) and my mother (who is in a horrible state of health). I provide youthfulness around this house. I make everyone laugh and happy. I make elaborate meals and desserts that everyone absolutely loves. I help settle fights. I'm the person that makes things happen on holidays and other special occasions. Now that I'm gone, who will do that?

With the above in mind, I'm happy to get away from the drama and the bickering. I've been wanting independence for a while now. I've wanted a place in which I can entertain my friends and chill out, since my freshman year of college. At this stage in my life, I think this is what I need. I need to really grow up.

But despite the positives, moving out is bittersweet. As I speak of moving out and getting my things ready, I can sense my family is quite sad. In the past week, my mom and grandma have bawled numerous times. But I look forward to great experiences and balancing my new independence with family time, living on my own and getting a fresh taste of a stressful (hopefully not too much) reality.